There is a separation and a distance
between that which is that that which we would have be. In the space
that leads from one to the other is where we seem to live our lives.
It is that space that pulls us away from where we are, from the now
and the here into some future that has not yet come to pass.
But why should we be pulled into that
space, into that non-existent future? It reminds me of the way that
Einstein described space as warped, which alters the movement of
anything that passes through it, resulting in the effect we call
gravity.
It pulls us, pulls me, from where I am
and what I am doing into something I cannot really see. What I want
is clear, but the places I will go because of what I want are not.
We see the light in the distance, and miss the grass beneath our
feet.
Where does it come from, this
fundamental unease with that which is? Some is from necessity, the
simple ability to look to the future calling for its own use. Try to
convey an idea without speech, without pictures, without a structured
language or common sensory references. It is very difficult, because
those abilities call for their use.
But what we do, the lengths to which we
are pulled, are far beyond what is necessary for each of us to
survive or thrive. Why, then, do we reach so far, and so often lose
what already is in favor of that which is not yet?
Whether one calls this dreaming, or
growth, or any of a dozen other names, it is there. We lack the
ability to be satisfied, to be still, to reside in balance without
that pull to move away from balance into something else.
I'm not saying this well, what I'm
describing, but I feel it there, that pull, dissatisfaction, desire
to avoid comfort, the need to stretch, and I do wonder why it pulls
so hard and so relentlessly on so many of us. To move forward, to
grow, is one thing. To lose sight of everything else is different.
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