Saturday, May 24, 2014

An Alice List - 5/24/2014

I would like to do certain impossible things before I die. Here is a list of a few.

  1. Build a really big bathtub and give the earth a good scrubdown.
  2. Acquire a dragon as a pet/companion/mentor. Keep it in my pocket for my eventual mugging.
  3. Build a waterslide that runs from the Sea of Tranquility to Rio de Janeiro.
  4. Buy a drink for everyone who doesn't want one.
  5. Mediate a romantic relationship between an electron and a positron.
  6. See what happens when two medusae look at each other.
  7. Ride a solar flare.
  8. Beat Zaphod Beeblebrox for the Worst Dressed Sentient in the Galaxy competition.
  9. Meet at least three different Cheshire Cats.
  10. Conduct a sunset, a night sky, and a sunrise.
  11. Build a power source that runs entirely on bubble gum and muzak and produces backrubs as its only byproduct.
  12. Breed a turkey shaped like a Klein Bottle.
  13. Sing an aria entirely below 12 hertz.
  14. Write a joke that will stop a 12-gauge round at 10 meters.
  15. Translate Cyrano de Bergerac into Lojban.
  16. Play catch with ball lightning.
  17. Swim the Chunnel.
  18. Fold a tesseract from a single sheet of paper.
  19. Proceed to live in said tesseract.
  20. Resurrect all the greatest musicians in history. Make them play a symphony on the kazoo.


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