Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The Wurst - 5/14/2014

Let us speak now of the hotness of the doggai. Possibly the noblest of foods, if only because it comes from the humblest of all possible humble origins.

When you butcher an animal, there's a use for everything. It's either meat for the table, for the dogs, or raw materials for something else (leather, for example). But even the most fanatically careful butcher is going to end up with extra little bits. Some are just scraps of meat or other tissue that are inevitable byproducts of hacking at an animal carcass with a knife. Others are small organs or specialty meats that are often small and require some kind of preparation to make them tasty.

Now there's one organ in particular that, once removed, requires a LOT of work to make safe to eat. That's the lower GI tract, specifically the intestines. An elastic tube several meters long that is filled with partially processed organic matter. Organic matter that is slightly toxic and suffused with bacteria and other things that are straight-up bad for you (in a not fun way).

So, remove from animal, clean and boil. and boil. and boil. Eventually, you end up with something that is perfectly safe to eat and quite useful for holding significant amounts of ground, mashed, chopped or otherwise altered organic matter.

And thus was the sausage born. Meat in tube form. Chunks of animal flesh mixed with fats, herbs, spices, and whatever else may seem like a good idea. The Unnatural Banana. Re-invention of the worm into something a little more tasty and slightly less likely to die in the sun on the sidewalk.

Fitter-in-a-bun. Holder-of-the-mustard. Profit margin for the meat-seller. Seventh-inning-special. Cured. Smoked. Fermented. Done-other-things-to. Meat modified from it's simple state into something mysterious and variable.

Pepperoni. Frankfurter. Salumi. Pate. Merguez. Lap Cheong. Kamaboko. Chorizo. Sai ua. Sucuk. Bangers. Kielbasa. Currywurst. How many others?

I don't know and I don't care. I just know that there aren't many foods that put such a smile on people's faces, mine included.


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