Something I Learned From Watching My Parents, and Others - 3/2/2014

“Strength is not the ability to dominate. Strength is the ability to be free from domination.”

-Michael Sasser

That's a line I came up with a number of years ago. It struck me then, as it does now, as something that too many people misunderstand.

Being strong is not standing over someone, commanding and demanding of them. Strength is not the ability to make a large change. Strength is the ability to retain a sense of choice in all circumstances.

Those who feel that the best way to stand tall (who, in fact, feel that tall is the best way to feel) is to do so on the backs of others, to raise oneself in a zero-sum game by lowering those around them, are not strong. They are too weak to stand cleanly and alone, they are too weak to see other people as anything but a threat. They are too weak to see other people as people.

Strength is the person who supports, who builds, who saves. Strength is the person who hears the just command and follows it. Strength is the person who hears the unjust command and refuses.

Strength is not the person who imposes their will, but also is not the one who surrenders their will to another. Strength is the person who sees and accepts reality and truth as best they can and stands in that place. They do not demand that others stand there, nor do they turn others away who truly want to stand there.

Strength is the point at which a person is able to base their actions and decisions on what they perceive to be the best, whether it is the best for themselves, for others, or for everyone.

Be strong. Bend, do not break, and stand firmly rooted in who you are and what you know to be right. Do not seek to control others, seek to help them find their true strength.

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