Monday, April 14, 2014

Dylan Thomas Was Half-Right - 4/14/2014

So I was thinking today, about Truths. Specifically, the truths in how we face death. The only line most people know from Dylan Thomas is “Do not go gentle into that good night\Rage, rage against the dying of the light”. And I have to say I agree with that. There is a beauty and a power in refusing to give in, in fighting to the last, in denying the reaper.

But then there's Death With Dignity. There is also a beauty and a power in looking death in the eye and saying “Okay, it's time, I'm ready.” To stand cleanly and step forward, eschewing the desire to continue living simply to take another breath.

What brings this about? Well, I work in a hospital, and every day I walk past people who are on their way to chemotherapy or some equivalent treatment. I've seen some of them sunk in misery, dulled by pain and fuzzed by drugs. I've seen others who go to their treatments with a light heart and talking with humor and strength.

And I'm not sure which group is which. That's the amazing part about it. I'm honestly not sure whether the happy ones are the ones who are fighting death or those who are simply moving forward as they need to, who will choose to lie down and rest when the time has come. I suspect there are some in each group, each person finding their own experience of dying, each person expressing their own rage or dignity in ways that are entirely personal.

I don't know how I will face death, assuming that I have the opportunity, but I hope to bring both rage and dignity to it. The drives for survival and for peace, merging into a single drive for a beautiful moment upon which to end my existence when no other choice is possible.

And hopefully a long time from now. Say, long enough to get to the far side of the Milky Way and look out onto the far side of the universe. Sounds about right.


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