What accounts for taste?
I have this friend. Talk with her on
Facebook from time to time. She shared a horrible secret with me
entirely by accident.
She... she... likes... vanilla ice
cream.
I've unfriended her, of course, and
done my best to delete any history I might have on my computer, but
still, I feel bad. I wish I could reach out to her and heal her of
this horrible affliction.
To enjoy something so basic, so bland,
so... unflavorful, as vanilla ice cream. It's like thinking that
Barry Manilow is the end-all, be-all of popular music, completely
ignoring the works of Tom Jones and Celine Dion. It's like thinking
that beige is the greatest color. What of taupe? What of ecru?
Tell me, WHAT OF ECRU!?!?!?!?!
But I shall soldier on, knowing that in
championing the ribbon, be it caramel, fruit or chocolate, I fight
for a better world. A world with Cookies'n'Cream, with Dulce du
Leche, with those little cups of ice cream and fudge that come with
the wooden spoons already inside.
If you know someone who is a
vanilla-lover, I beg of you to get them to a therapist. Vanilla
recovery is possible, and the famous Dr.
Baskin-Robbin-Coldstone-Haagen-Dazs and her son Gelato have worked
tirelessly with Benjamin and Gerald to help bring an appreciation of
true flavor to the world. Your loved ones can be helped, and you can
help them help themselves to a scoop of tasty goodness.
Please, won't someone think of the
waffle cones?!?
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